wo ai ni wo ai ni wo ai ni

Bangkok was a good time away.

Learnt some things about inner demons, chakras, and spiritual alignments—as I tried to exorcise some of mine. 

my first makeup ‘tutorial’.

pretty phhaaaail.

Well, o.k. we get along
So what if right now everything’s wrong?

Click-click; tick-tick
Clock snips time in two
Lap of rain In the drain pipe
Two o’clock
And never you.

Never you, down the evening,
I cannot Cry, or ever smile
Acidly or bitter-sweetly
For never you and incompletely.
Things surround me I could touch
Soap or toothbrush
Desk or chair.
Never mind the three dimensions
All is flat, and you not there.

Letters, papers, stamps
And white, And black.
typewritten-you, and there It is.
The trickle, liquid trickle
Of rain in drain-pipe
Is voice enough
For me tonight.
And the click-click
Hard quick click-click
Of the clock Is pain enough,
enough heart-beat
For me tonight.
The narrow cot,
The iron bed Is space enough
And warmth enough…

Enough, enough.
To bed and sleep
And tearless creep
The formless seconds
Minutes hours
And never you
The raindrops weep
And never you
And tick-tick,
tick-tick pass the hours.

(unpublished poem by Sylvia Plath, from her journals)

you are an ocean breeze, i am the title wave. you are every paragraph, i am just a tidal page. you have the heart i hold exactly where you desire it. it’s all so effortless; like what you did to acquire it.each time i find it harder just to keep my composure. i’m trying to show you all of me like indecent exposure.
i’ll be the gun, you be my holster. i need your love. i need you closer. seems like forever when only a hour passed. we fallin’ slower than grains and salt in a hour glass.emotions running wild, you are who tames them. my only means is for tranquility, you my sanctum.and if i could, i would take your eyes and blend them with the stars so whenever we ain’t together, i still see them from afar.but that’s insane, i’d do whatever to just to feel you.even all of that don’t come close to what i will do.they say love holds the power tofulfill you, heal you, kill you, hurt and abuse you, and take you away from you used to.i try to paint a picture like a canvas plane to try to put together words like a Scrabble game. look, i pour my heart out in an effort just to win you. i modify my actions solely so they don’t offend you.i mean, i would wrestle time even if it get re-winded.everything you looking for, in me is where you find it.so you can stop your searching, baby.i know you hurting, baby.your self-esteem so low sometimes that you feel worthless, baby. you hide it well, but you know i can tell.i see right through that bullshit you be tryin’ sell. so let it drive, let it fall, let it blow with the wind.i told you once, told you twice, and i will tell you once againthat i’ll be here. yes, i’ll be here.and if love is blind then my entrance is clear.and all we have is time and good intentions.fuck your break, fuck your suspicion.put your foot on that gas until you don’t see your past.yeah, i said drive until your vision blurred.and let my voice tell our story; spoken words. fuck ‘em. let them hate me where they never was. and fucking Shakespeare couldn’t wrote a better love.but people tell me that i’m trippin’ and i say you different.and when they ask me how..i can’t provide a description; you don’t need one.i will disconnect them all, like a broken joint.just to prove that i only see you like a focal point.i know that distances may cause some complications.but you make me feel good. fucked up, exonerated.
still, i wonder what you like beneath the shackles that you wearing.i been longing to release you from a load of overbearing.tell me, are you protected by a guard, boo ?or could i blow it and make it fall like cards do ?and i ain’t interested ‘til it involves you.you got your doors locked and i just saw through.you reached a height of loneliness ‘cause we all do,but everything that goes up gotta fall too.

really miss this dude.